Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) was originally developed by Canadian psychologist Dr. Susan Johnson in the 1980s and has since been researched extensively. Its effectiveness for helping couples reduce conflict, improve communication, and develop trust and intimacy in relationships has received substantial empirical support. We can confidently say that EFT is an evidence-based model for helping couples move from distress to recovery and build long-lasting bonds.
In the beginning, you and your therapist will focus on identifying the pattern in your relationship that keeps you and your partner stuck in negative cycles. Whether you’re dealing with disconnection, repetitive conflicts, or trouble restoring trust and safety, the attempts to solve these problems on your own may have left you feeling frustrated and hopeless. Your EFT therapist will help you understand these patterns from an attachment perspective, seeing them not as character flaws but as natural responses to feeling disconnected or unsafe.
During these initial sessions, your therapist will:
As therapy progresses, you’ll learn to slow down your negative cycle and access the deeper emotions that drive your interactions. You’ll begin to express these feelings in ways that invite connection rather than defensiveness. Your partner will learn to hear these expressions differently, responding with greater understanding and compassion.
This stage involves:
In the final stage, you and your partner will celebrate the gains you have made, strengthening your ability to maintain emotional connection even during stressful times. You’ll work together to create new solutions to old problems from a place of secure connection.
EFT is rooted grounded in attachment science, which has demonstrated that humans have an innate need for safe, secure bonds with others. When these bonds are threatened, we experience distress and automatically respond in ways designed to restore connection. Understanding your attachment needs and fears helps make sense of seemingly irrational reactions in relationships.
EFT takes a humanistic perspective, viewing people as fundamentally worthy and capable of growth and love. Rather than pathologizing relationship struggles, EFT sees them as understandable responses to attachment needs. Your therapist will approach you with empathy and unconditional positive regard, creating a safe environment for exploration and change.
Unlike approaches that focus primarily on behavior change or communication skills, EFT works at the level of emotional experience. By accessing and transforming the emotions that drive interaction patterns, EFT creates deeper, more lasting change. The therapy includes experiential exercises during sessions that help you practice new emotional skills with your partner.
We know that what distinguishes successful couples from those who struggle is their ability to repair after arguments—to come together and talk in a way that brings them closer rather than disconnects them. EFT systematically teaches these repair skills by:
EFT is one of the most thoroughly researched couples therapy approaches, with studies consistently showing:
EFT can be particularly helpful for couples experiencing:
While originally developed for couples, EFT has been adapted for individuals and families as well, addressing issues such as depression, anxiety, trauma, and parent-child relationships.
EFT typically involves weekly sessions over a period of 8-20 weeks, depending on your unique situation. Sessions are collaborative, with your therapist acting as a guide to help you navigate emotional territory that may feel unsafe or unfamiliar. While therapy can sometimes feel challenging as you confront difficult emotions, the process is designed to create greater safety and connection.
Most couples report feeling a sense of hope and understanding even in the early stages of therapy as they begin to make sense of their relationship patterns and recognize that their struggle.
352 7th Ave. New York, NY 10001
Receive our free tips on building secure relationships when you sign up. Stay up-to-date on events, workshops, webinars, and other news from Touchstone Psychology.
You can unsubscribe at any time.
Tounchtone Pyschology
352 7th Ave,
New York NY 10001
201-777-1807
privacy policy
Copyright © 2025 Touchtone Psychology
Areas Served: Chelsea, Gramercy Park, Greenwich Village
